I am 44 years old and I have never lost someone who was integral to my life. My close touches with death and dying include a beloved family pet, a 101 year old grandmother and my husbands grandmother.  But most of all I was deeply deeply affected by the death of my best friends baby. Megan Juliet was 12 hours old. Denial. Shock. Devastation. Loss of hope, of life, of a future, of everything. An 18” long white coffin, with a desperate young mother alone at a grave on a cold, dreary, rainy day in March. Gutted.