Creating space to pause, reflect and share experiences with dying and death

I wish I could have said thank you then

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I wish I could have said thank you then

I’ve not been doing this long enough to have a practice but Mr. H stuck with me. He was my age and he seemed well. He was sick but he had no reason to die, at least not for years. Then he did. 29 years old, excited to go home to his new car and then gone. My brain kept wondering why, why, why for days. I was awaiting the autopsy report but I realize now it wasn’t about why, it is about when and how. Even in hospitals we can’t always predict death and we definitely can’t avoid it. I hope he knows that I cared. That I care. That his last few days of life meant something to me. He brought me joy amongst my craziness and I wish I could have said than you then. So I’ll it now SH. Thanks.

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