Creating space to pause, reflect and share experiences with dying and death

Posts Tagged child

child

All that’s left is grief

All that’s left is grief

I never got to know you. Nor you know me. You died before you were born. All that;s left is the grief I feel for what your life could have been.

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I promise not to let that happen

I promise not to let that happen

Yesterday my first grandson was born to my father’s first grandson, a father who had but 7 months to know his first grandson before passing. My son, my first and his brothers never had a grandfather despite several relationships. I promise not to let that happen!

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For years my arms ached and my heart cried

For years my arms ached and my heart cried

I had never attended the death of my child before. I didn’t always do it right. I didn’t always know what to do. So I did as I had done throughout your life. I sang to you, I stroked your hair, but I didn’t hold you. Moving

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Still in my heart

Still in my heart

This children who have past: Make me stronger Make me find new ways to help their pain Make me reflect on life Make me believe in a better health system Make me meditate Make me laugh and cry Make me bring back my inner child Make me

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I still feel a twinge

I still feel a twinge

When my first born son died from preterm labor at 20 weeks, the comfort from family & friends, the surprise at the many friends who share their stories and the blatant insensitivity of some. I still feel a twinge when I tell people I have two girls

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She left us two weeks after her 15th birthday

She left us two weeks after her 15th birthday

…it was 12 years ago. She was my beautiful niece… a beautiful ballet dancer… she left us 2 weeks after her 15th birthday having fought for her life for a year with an aggressive germ cell ovarian CA. …the prognosis changed quickly but her mom & dad

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I’ve always known life goes in cycles

I’ve always known life goes in cycles

I’ve always known life goes in cycles but now I am experiencing this. When you are a chi,d you move from grade school to high school then college/university. Along the way, grandparents die and when someone your own age dies, you say they died too young. Then

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I felt unable to move, to think

I felt unable to move, to think

Grade 4. Afternoon. Lights off. Watching a VHS. Something went off in my brain. “I’m going to die. One day I will not exist.” I was overcome with anxiety. I felt unable to move, think. I looked around at everyone else in the classroom. “Am I the

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The very next day everything went horribly wrong

The very next day everything went horribly wrong

Nicolas… how healthy you seemed when you were born… I remember feeding you and holding you. I remember how your big brother was so proud. I remember how the very next day everything went horribly wrong. I remember the doctors telling us they “did everything they could,”

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I held that mother in my arms

I held that mother in my arms

I remember taking a moment to offer a hug and tear for a grieving parent who’s child just died moments ago. I held that mother in my arms and felt every part of my heart extend to her for a moment, it was a real physical feelings.

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