Creating space to pause, reflect and share experiences with dying and death

Moments

Moments

It’s silent but so loud to me

It’s silent but so loud to me

It’s been twenty years, but I can still see my father, the gentleman doctor as brothers, sitting beside my Aunt in NYC. She’s in a rigid metal halo & back brace, due to the fractures along her spine from metastatic breast CA. Cheeks flushed with steroids, she’s

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For this I felt lucky

For this I felt lucky

I was filled with gratitude when I witnessed my dad’s last breath in hospital. Gratitude for having had the kind dad for 23 years that I had. A dad whom I would miss. For this I felt lucky. Blessed. 

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Who will hold my hand when I die

Who will hold my hand when I die

When my patient was awake, she always wanted to hold hands: with family, with friends, with caregivers. One day she asked, “Who will hold my hand when I die?”  I reminded her of her faith tradition and said, “when you let go of a hand here,  it

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You survived but did not live

You survived but did not live

Dad – I’m so sorry I let you down at your end of life – I let them put a feeding tube in when I should have just held your hand. You survived but did not live. I promise I will help others through this fear &

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Something sad and beautiful

Something sad and beautiful

I was such a young, and naive social worker when I experienced my first death – Debbie – I was just 22 yrs. old at the time. I remember her actively dying in her bed. She had been fighting with her dad over many years, but he

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I wish she felt freer in life

I wish she felt freer in life

In the 9 weeks between diagnosis & death, we learned so many “secrets” of my mom’s life. Until she was freed by the knowledge of her coming death, she could not tell some of her own life stories & I found out the father was raised me

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It was a party of sorts

It was a party of sorts

My father died within 3 months of his diagnosis. I was working in the next province (this one) and took Bearskin Airlines every week or 2 to see him. I left for work 2 days before he died, and didn’t see him alive again. Everybody else did;

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Life without Grandma

Life without Grandma

Mom: when you were taken away so suddenly by death, I thought that my life had no meaning. Though I had a husband and two sons, the absence of your presence was very hard to take. Not just by me but by the whole family. Especially by

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We talked and my heart ached for him

We talked and my heart ached for him

I remember Adina, one of my clients very close to death when I began visiting her. As it was, I went, perhaps, all of 3 times before I was told she had passed away. She was dying of breast cancer and her right arm was hugely swollen

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A few minutes make a big difference

A few minutes make a big difference

Hospice allowed to give of myself and be of service to others. Volunteering took a deeper meaning to be able to help someone who is looking for help, help that many cannot buy. Volunteering helped me to grow and become a better person, by being open to

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