The Reflection Room is supported by Saint Elizabeth Health Care
Creating space to pause, reflect and share experiences with dying and death

Regret

Regret

They had raised me

They had raised me

My grandparents died within 2 weeks of each other, very suddenly. My grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, my grandmother died of a broken heart. I have always regretted that I wasn’t (couldn’t??) present with them in those last few days before they died. They had raised me […]

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Far from home and your family

Far from home and your family

I was young and scared, you were older and dying. Far from home and your family, and with no resources. I did my job and no more and in your last days I was not there. You will always be with me. I am so sorry.

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How different things could have been

How different things could have been

When I was ten years old my father died and it was decided my sister & I would not attend his funeral. I have no memories of visiting in hospital as he slipped away from cancer. I remember coughing and hair loss… only aware he had a […]

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I was young and knew nothing so I said nothing

I was young and knew nothing so I said nothing

I wish I knew then what I know now. That way, when you were dying, and told me you were scared to tell people you were “giving up” I would have known what to say. I would have told you it wasn’t “giving up” it was “letting […]

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You were larger than life

You were larger than life

I love you Uncle Eamonn, I’ll always regret not being home in your final weeks. You were larger than life and you will be forever remembered.

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Regret… it found me anyways

Regret… it found me anyways

I was not prepared for my mom’s diagnosis. I was not prepared for her to die. The 5 1/2 months of her illness felt unreal and its only now…4 1/2 years later… that I can see how I did not and could not internalize that she was […]

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Love and sadness came over me

Love and sadness came over me

Both my grandparents died while I was not living near them and it was not until I travelled back home and saw their plots in the cemetery that this feeling of loss and sadness came over me. I had to re-live that feeling of losing them all […]

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to savour everything

to savour everything

…is to not Live with past regrets but to savour everything that life has to offer in the moment.  

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I still live in the past

I still live in the past

Dad, I’ll never know the relationship we could have had over the last 10 years not speaking. I couldn’t look you in the eye and feel safe anymore after the pain you put me through. Without your apology, I still live in the past. I’ve moved away […]

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I was away on vacation

I was away on vacation

Grandpa, I miss you. You died had a funeral and was buried all while I was away on vacation. You never met your first of three grandchildren that I was carrying when you died. It really sucked not being able to say goodbye to you. I love […]

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